Dear friends who don't like movies from the '90s. I mean, this is our...
childhood, emotion. Little audiences needed a little something
to inspire admiration or compassion for the hero. That's why the worst
B movies we took for granted. And you can't blame everything...
blame it all on the backwardness of the time in terms of technology and the general
the primitiveness of the pictures, given that it's from the '90s. And at that time, there were...
gems of its own at that time. both in terms of story and technology. But that's not the point
about that. It's the b-movies I'd like to devote time to. Yes, yes, the very same
movies starring Stallone, Schwarzenegger, van Damme, Seagal, et cetera.
et cetera. Because now we're being shown a fresh slice of stale calla lilies
that's being presented as a throwback to '90s classics. Or rather, Stallone
is being portrayed. It's not really like that. Now let's find out what didn't
Slaya's "Expendibles" didn't work out.
Well, first of all, the most important thing is the plot. Seriously. Stallone
managed to do more than just the bad plot that was supposed to be there,
and it would have suited everybody. He made a very, very, very bad and
illogical plot. Even I wasn't expecting such a set-up. No, guys.
seriously, what's wrong with the idea that they just
come to the island and take everyone away? That would have been fun and
and pointless. It's just not fucking fun and it's just
annoying. What's the point? Why the hell would he want that woman? No, you don't
understand, I'm really glad they took it all out there. But it wouldn't bother me
if it was just for the sake of Bruce Willis and
and his mission! Not for some skank who's scarier than sarah's legs.
Jessica parker. Basically, if you reveal the "profound philosophical
intent of this plot move, it's a way of showing that the hero
has a soul and a belief in goodness and some humanity... but fuck???
what faith in goodness and humanity is there if they're on this island
taking out a fucking republican army? That's not even necessary
for the movie at all. It's completely unrecognizable to the viewer and it's...
and it's just fucking hilarious. It's probably just a whore who got beaten up
Stallone, but he invited her into the movie so he wouldn't have to go to court.
Anyway, I was expecting anything but this. That was really bad.
What else didn't I get to... hmm. No, no, let's put it this way. What's the most
the most important thing about an action film? Action, you say, and you'd be absolutely right. А
now guess what Stallone fucked up in this movie. Who's to say
action gets a lollipop and starts sucking on it. I'm not exaggerating. Before
the shaky-camera effect was as annoying as it was in
the green zone with methinks dæmon. Not only is the camera shaking.
the editing is also fucked up. If there's a fight going on, it's at least four people,
so they're fighting in pairs, so to speak. And the editing is such that every
every 5 fucking seconds the frame changes and they're all dressed the same and
and there's no telling who's fighting who when or for what. But to be fair.
it's worth noting that the action scenes themselves are staged really
not bad. I mean, if it's a fight, it's very good, if it's a shootout.
it's also all right. But because of the fucking camera and the cheesy editing.
it's impossible to enjoy it all.
The third fiasco of this film is definitely the absence of gore. I mean
of any kind of humor. Despite the fact that half of the responsibility for this
of the Russian dubbing, the movie doesn't live up to it. One funny joke
with the names, and a funny moment in the original but ruined in the dubbing
when Sly says you're welcome, which the dubbing translates
"fuck off. No comment. The rest of the jokes are Asian, not human,
she's not your type, no wait, you're not her type, and no, she's not
your type, and so on. That's a shame.
Speaking of dubbing. When are we going to learn that you just have to
to swear into a microphone. Or show movies with subtitles. I'm already
I'm sick of hearing from mercenaries and the military the words "shit, shit, shit, stupid, etc.
etc. It is also very bad and strongly damaged the impression.
And the last fatalities of the film, of course, the ridiculousness of the situations,
the absolute, ridiculous parodies of Tarantino's dialogue.
the militarized Mickey Rourke, the stupid cunt
which spoils the whole movie, a lot of gaffes about the unrealistic nature of what's going on,
illogical actions of the characters, especially stallone and eric roberts.
And most importantly. I don't fucking understand what anyone's name is in this
in this movie! I mean, the characters are so faceless that I just didn't
hear their names. All I remember is Stallone and Statham being named. И
that's it. That's fucked up, guys.
But that's the downside and the upside. There are bright sides. Like
the soundtrack. It's not great, but it's classic rock again and
very much in line with the narrative. Still, it's nice to have the company
that's assembled in this film. There's no acting as such, but everything
everything else they did. Thank you for that at least. And that's about it.
I guess that's it.
Expendibles is still a chance to go back to the '80s if you don't
if you don't want to watch a rewatch of Rambo. But once you've seen it as a kid.
you wouldn't want to see it a second time. It's such a
disposable pastime that you don't want to spend any time
spend time on it. Rated 5/10. Absolutely not. As a fan
of most of these guys, I was expecting something different. But if you like blood,
Stallone and all that, you're in. There's a couple of good moments in there, though.
a few good moments in there, though. The classics never came back. Let them learn from Rodriguez. А
while we're being fed a modern b-movie with YAHUENNEN ambitions. It's a shame.
Too bad. Go revisit comando.
P.S. And what a great commercial. Remember at least this www.youtube.com/expendables
or this one vkontakte.ru/video45375704_148886579#comments movies, staleness, unstoppable, thrash, hilarity, expendables, belka Write a comment Total comments: 8